Author: Jenn Goddu

Jenn Goddu http://www.birthdayarebest.com I am a writer, editor, and writing coach who also blogs about birthdays!

Sayonara Birthday Clowns

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Back in my day the most exciting thing that might happen at a birthday party was to have a clown or magician provide entertainment. Getting to dress up in costume was pretty awesome, too. As was my first and only visit to Chuck e. Cheese’s (until I became a parent).

Today, though, I’ve been to parties where backyards are transformed into a bouncy castle playground or set up with multiple inflatable water slides. And we’re not even talking about the extravagant kinds of part they throw on reality television. Or the great fun you can have throwing an Amazing Race or Survivor-themed birthday party.

But when it comes to entertainment there are also clever new options. A friend of my son’s went to a party where they got to play videogames in a truck – I love this idea for entertaining pre-teen boys and bringing the party to me without messing up my house (which would be so pristine otherwise!).

My new favorite though is the Storm Trooper DJ (seen below) who could judge a lightsaber dance competition. With the new Star Wars movie coming out this Christmas, I think this will be right up the alley of my February birthday boy come 2016.

http://iaf.tv/2015/05/27/dj-stormtrooper-is-available-for-birthdays/

I Envy a Complete Birthday Calendar

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So, you say it’s your birthday? Expect your Facebook to blow up with pithy birthday greetings, and a few emoji birthday cakes, pints of beer, or martini glasses as text messages. That’s all many people do these days to share in a friend’s happy day.

Not Jeremy Epstein. He likes “the personal touch” and estimates calling four people every day, all 365 days a year! That’s about 1,800 people. “I think people appreciate when you take the time to reach out,” he told The Huffington Post.

I love this idea. Originally I was terribly jealous of his complete birthday calendar. I try to send birthday cards as my personal touch. I’m a writer, so my preferring to pen something is not surprising. Yet I have yet to fill a calendar with 365 family and friends to send cards to each day.

Photo credit: smswigart / Foter / CC BY

Photo credit: smswigart / Foter / CC BY

Epstein’s numbers made me insecure for a moment: Am I not old enough? Cool enough? Don’t people like me enough to tell me their birthdays?

However, he is not really the most popular guy on the planet. Keep in mind he’s a marketing professional who also calls business associates as well as friends and family.

My envy tamed I can now return to happily crediting this man’s kind efforts to reach out to everyone he knows on their birthday.

Want @BirthdaysBest to tweet about your birthday? Tell me the date, and I’ll add you to my calendar!

Birthdays in Kids’ Books: Get Better!

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Great birthday books are difficult to find. One day, mine will be released and it will be epic!

Until then, you’re mostly stuck with kids’ books. Looking at Today’s Parent Top 10, I was reminded how birthdays are often an opportunity for kids to learn to be better. In Victorian times, birthdays weren’t celebrated but rather seen as a time to encourage kids to be reflective and “grow in goodness.”

Today, it’s an opportunity for a child to celebrate but also learn or practice:

The book on their list I’m going to pick up? Happy Birdday, Tacky! Apparently Tacky the Penguin saves his own surprise party in Nice Icy Land with a positive attitude and impressive dance moves! Alright Tacky!

Photo credit: Steve Corey / iwoman / CC BY-NC

Photo credit: Steve Corey / iwoman / CC BY-NC

Celebrating You is Good.

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Regular readers of this blog might think I only love birthdays because I am a greedy attention hound who loves being the center of attention.

While that characterization may be true, that’s not the only reason I love birthdays. Birthdays are also a day when we treat ourselves well — whether or not we have the attention or participation of others.

Consider my elderly neighbor who has a wide range of garden flags rotated throughout the year. She lives alone, but she puts up a Happy Birthday flag each year to announce her own birthday!

bday flagShe’s rarely seen out of her house, so it’s not as if she’s trying to elicit a neighborhood outpouring of celebratory greetings. She’s doing this for herself – to smile and celebrate every time she pulls into her own driveway.

Birthdays are a day we all treat ourselves a little better. Maybe we allow ourselves to sleep in. Or we get a massage. Or we treat ourselves to that relaxed chai with a book. Or we see a movie we’ve wanted to see (even alone in the middle of the day). Or we schedule a few less conference calls and go enjoy a yoga class.

Photo credit: Silvia Sala / Source / CC BY-NC-ND

Photo credit: Silvia Sala / Source / CC BY-NC-ND

Self care is one of the truly great things about birthdays. Now if we could only get in the habit of doing it more often throughout the year.

Ban Birthday Shout Outs?

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There are not enough people writing letters any more. Let alone letters to the editor. So, I first must applaud Ruth Allen of Newburyport for writing to her local paper. Nevertheless, I’d like to counter her complaint.

She writes:

Can someone please tell me why we need to list the birthdays of local athletes in the local newspaper? We read about their accomplishments, which makes perfect sense. But being born is something every living person accomplishes.  If you want to shout out to someone for a birthday, why not shout out to the mother who gave birth? Or to both parents, who have done the job of raising the children? Or, if you feel an urgent need to shout out about birthdays anyway, why not celebrate everyone’s birthday? In this age of overly entitled athletes and “celebrities” of all stripes, the message you are sending appears to be “you are really special because you are an athlete.” Enough is enough. Please drop this unfortunate practice from The Daily News.

Personally, I like to know what famous folk share my birthday. FamousBirthdays.com is great for this info. Maybe this is feeding the celebrity culture. However, fans like to know when athletes or actors or singers are celebrating birthdays to send enthusiastic greetings.

Image source: valzulu / Source / CC BY-NC-ND

Image source: valzulu / Source / CC BY-NC-ND

In fact, as @Birthdaysbest I regularly tweet #bdaywishes to celebs. One paper even put my wish in a round-up of twitter birthday greetings to a Seattle Seahawk. This was a fun way to handle an athlete’s birthday as we got to see the range of responses the day prompted.

Yet, a good compromise is the one Ruth suggests, to celebrate everyone’s birthday. Other local newspapers do. Friends or family would fete someone by adding so-and-so to the daily Happy Birthday column.

I vote let’s add to the excitement around birthdays rather than banning the shout outs entirely.

Cake, ice cream, and noodles!

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What’s your favorite birthday food? Here in North America we generally think of birthdays as a time to eat cake and ice cream.

North American kids will likely expect pizza too, if they’re at a party. It never ceases to amaze me how kids will cry out, “this is the best pizza ever!” over a slice of that cardboard thin crappy pizza provided by the roller rink, arcade plaza, or trampoline park.

But other cultures mark this special day with different fare. For instance, in China someone might nosh (if the Chinese do in fact nosh) on noodles. They’re known as longevity or long life noodles and are also enjoyed on New Year’s. Take out the water chestnuts and this looks like a yummy recipe to try.

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One of my great friends always wanted to celebrate her birthday in an Ethiopian restaurant. Yet I’ve only just learned that Ghanians start their birthday with oto. A SkinnyGourmet blogger shared learning to make this mashed yam and onion dish and also explained why brides traditionally eat this on their wedding day, too.

I’ve blogged about Australian’s fairy bread in the past. Apparently Russians prefer pie while those in India will serve payesh (a sweet rice pudding)!

As long as it’s yummy, I’m pretty sure we’ll all get along just fine at a birthday feast.

Excessive Extravagance Explained?

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Have you heard yet about these birthday party and present extravagances?

  • Suri Cruise and her kid pals noshing on a $5000 birthday cake.
  • Jay-Z and Beyonce spent US$200,000 on the first birthday party of their daughter, Blue Ivy.
  • David and Victoria Beckham once had a playhouse custom-built for son Brooklyn’s birthday. They spent US$187,000 on a gift for a six year old!
  • P-Diddy’s $3 Million birthday apparently included $28K in orchids.

Other examples include:

  • Hiring a yacht for a 10-year-old’s party
  • Hosting 50 youngsters at Disneyland
  • Tiffany gift bags (for little girls!)

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In “Confessions of a Party Pauper,” Kylie Knott interviewed a child psychologist about these kind of excesses. Lora Lee suggested, “Parents see lavish parties as a way to compensate for a lack of parenting time.”

Another family psychologist, Laurene Man, noted lavish parties have “no direct bearing on the children’s happiness.” In fact, she suggested that large parties overhelm a child. “They can’t relate to so many children at one time, not to mention so many adults. Kids enjoy small simple parties – playing with a few children on one or two simple games.”

Man recommended parents think back to their own birthday parties to gain insight about what’s truly memorable about birthdays. I remember:

  • My mother making really creative sheet cakes decorated with M&Ms or Smarties.
  • Getting to go to Baskin & Robbin’s every year for a free cone.
  • Loving the present game where you sit in a circle and get to unwrap one layer of paper from the prize gift it was in your lap when the music stopped.
  • Dressing up in a hand-made costume for a friend’s Superhero party.

What simple pleasures do you remember and wish we still embraced at birthday parties?

Pick a Day. Any Day for your Bday.

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Photo credit: donnierayjones / Foter / CC BY

Photo credit: donnierayjones / Foter / CC BY

My baby was due to be born Feb. 10. Although I liked that this would coincide with Family Day in my native Canada, I’d heard first babies often come late. So, I worried my son would be born Feb. 14! Awful. He’d always have to share his special day with Valentine’s Day pressures. Fortunately, my son was born Feb. 9 (a day without conflicts).

I thought of my concern recently when I read about twin brothers born 24 days apart. How fortunate! They each get their own special day. Normally the best you could hope for was a few minutes difference on either side of midnight. These “delayed interval deliveries” are very rare, a doctor quoted in the story said.

This made me wonder what other days people might want to avoid as far as birthdays. I know my husband isn’t a huge fan of his Dec. 30 birthday — both Christmas and New Year’s Eve can get in the way. Another friend is a Christmas baby, and I’ve written before about Robert Louis Stevenson giving up his birthday to a girl who bemoaned her Christmas birthday fate. On the other hand, my BFF elected to have her son on a leap year.

So, what do you think: Is there a birthday date you would have preferred or think should be avoided?

You’re going to be sharing it with about 20 million others, but I’d still like to know what you think.

Birthday Wishes in the Digital Age

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Image source: Blogcdn.com

TIME magazine weighed in on birthdays last month with its 6 Rules for ‘Happy Birthday’ Etiquette in the Age of Facebook. Karol Markowicz claims “Facebook has changed the whole birthday game.” She notes remembering the day is no hardship since you’ll get an alert and a follow-up from Facebook. You know you’ll probably see several other friends posting about the birthday on your newsfeed too.

She says “social media should be complementary to other kinds of interaction, not in place of it.” Her advice? Say something at midnight to someone really special. If you’re a sibling you might also call at midnight. Call friends and family on the day. Prefer a call, but texting is OK, for new friends. Posting on Facebook is TIME approved only for old acquaintances with whom you only keep up via social media.

Personally I can’t believe any etiquette involves calling someone at midnight. I love my birthday more than most, but I don’t need calls in the wee hours. Sleep is my first birthday present to myself!

She also makes no mention of sending an actual birthday card. You remember those? They’re paper with folds and often have a funny sentiment inside. You stamp an envelope that goes in the mail (snail mail even!).

Image source: Cartoonlogodesigns.com

We get so little mail that matters these days. Spend the few bucks to send a birthday card to someone who makes you smile.

BTW, you can even order paper greeting cards online these days. Or rely on e-cards if you really must. Michael Bolton is not the only answer.

Birthdays ready made for relationship drama.

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Example A: The other day on campus I heard a guy ask his girlfriend to skip class for his birthday. She pointed out he hadn’t skipped on her birthday. He said she hadn’t asked. Me, I was just glad neither one was my student!

Example B: Recently I saw an advice columnist weighing in on what it means when a guy prefers to spend his birthday with his bros rather than his girlfriend of a year. The headline on the Ask Demetria column read: “Spending His Birthday With His Boys Instead of Her Proves She’s an Option, Not a Priority.” Happily, Demetria’s answer was more measured than the headline suggests. 

However, these two examples return us to the idea of the birthday trump card. When it’s our birthday we want everything to revolve around us (example A), or we’re miffed when not included in someone’s special day (example B).

And neither of these examples even touch on the etiquette of gift giving in a relationship. Avoiding that potential pitfall involves consideration of duration of dating and seriousness of intent as well as thoughtfulness, budget, and demanding nature of the present recipient!

To don my own relationship advice cap for a moment, I’d say the answer is to always speak up about expectations. Save the birthday disappointment for when your great aunt Irene sends you a fruitcake.