No Further Use for this Birthday…

I’ve written previously about kind folks donating as part of their birthday. If I find a current example I post it on twitter under #generousbday. Today, though, I want to share a past occurrence of birthday generosity. Author Robert Louis Stevenson, who you likely know best for Treasure Island, gave up his birthday to a 12-year-old girl.

Image source: http://i.guim.co.uk

Annie Ide, daughter to the U.S. Commissioner to Samoa where Stevenson was at the time living, was churlish about having been born on Christmas Day. So, Stevenson, wrote up a contract granting her rights to his November 13 birthday.

“…considering that I, the said Robert Louis Stevenson, have attained an age when O, we never mention it, and that I have now no further use for a birthday of any description…” he transferred “All and Whole of my rights and privileges in the 13th day of November, formerly my birthday, now, hereby, and henceforth, the birthday of the said A. H. Ide, to have, hold, exercise and enjoy the same in the customary manner, by the sporting of fine raiment, eating of rich meats and receipt of gifts, compliments and copies of verse, according to the manner of our ancestors.”

He did ask that she add the name Louisa to hers “at least in private” and charged her to use the “birthday with moderation and humanity.”

The document was even witnessed and sealed before being sent on to the lucky girl. He was only 41 when he made the donation, but regrettably died three years later succumbing to the ill health that had brought him to Samoa in the first place.

Perhaps it’s karma that the world-renowned author of Kidnapped and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is now consistently feted on his “unbirthday” in his native Scotland on RLS Day.

No Birthdays in Bhutan?

Living in a largely Buddhist kingdom nestled high in the Himalyas, the Bhutanese do not typically celebrate their birthdays. Writing in Travel + Leisure, Alan Brown credited this to their measuring time by “sunrises and seasons, not by dates.” In fact, when citizenship cards were issued to the Bhutanese everyone was given the birth date of January 1. Some 60% of people didn’t even know their date of birth!

Yet this is a kingdom that has eschewed GDP in favor of Gross National Happiness. They value happiness above all, but don’t have Happy Birthdays?!

Perhaps this says something about happiness coming from doing good and being part of something larger rather than focusing on the self. Still, giving up honoring the individual on his or her birthday would not make me happy. Nevertheless, I love this tradition shared by a Canadian teaching in Bhutan, in which schoolchildren share toffees (he baked cookies) so as to give on a birthday rather than receive.

Smiling Bhutanese schoolchildren. Source: commons.wikipedia.org

Smiling Bhutanese schoolchildren. Source: commons.wikipedia.org

Two Bhutan travel companies I visited online also noted that younger generations are now more particular about their birth dates and the birthday celebration trend is growing among urban dwellers.

Plus, Bhutan’s royal family members are feted on their birthdays. The reigning king’s birthday garners three days of festivals. Now, that’s a birthday!

Just a little note to say…

imagesI’ll admit, I’m a little “het up” as a I write this. Today, I came across someone offering advice on how to disable the birthdays function from Google Calendar.The author writes, When you’re out in a restaurant and the invariable singing of the birthday song commences, you join in to serenade the stranger, right? (That’s not just me is it?).

Maybe I’m not in an industry where a simple, polite email addressing the person’s birthday would be frowned upon. Why it could even be brand building as you’d be known as the client/customer/salesperson who cares enough to help the person celebrate their special day.

Or maybe it’s the effort involved in writing the email that is the worry? Let me offer this assistance:

“Hi _______,

I see on Google Calendar that it’s your birthday today. I wanted to take a moment to wish you a great one! Have a wonderful birthday.

Your name (complete with witty/pithy/professional added signature line).”

Now go ahead, share the birthday love.

A birthday resolution?

It’s the start of a new year. Many people will have made resolutions. Some will even stick with their promises to eat better, stop smoking, get in shape, or save money the entire year. (If that’s you, congratulations. Even if you make it into February — yeah, you!).

Photo from: http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20452233,00.html

Photo from: http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20452233,00.html

Another time for big promises to ourselves is our birthday. It’s a second fresh start to the year. Our year. Not a calendar year. The year unique to us. Last year, I resolved to start this blog. This post marks three months in! Whoo-hoo.

I’m in favor of saying resolutions out loud. Telling everyone and asking them to keep you accountable. It’s something I tried with my #365novel project where I was writing a page a day.

Other advice, offered by a life coach on Huffington Post, is to be specific and resolve to do something that is achievable.

The American Psychological Association suggests starting small and being kind to yourself along the way if you falter in keeping to your resolution.

The most surprising tip I came across? Drink OJ. Or lemonade. According to WebMD’s tips, exercising self control depletes our blood-glucose level! Perhaps my aversion to OJ is why I have so little self-control?

Image from: healthyconfidentyou.com

Image from: healthyconfidentyou.com

What birthday resolutions have you made in the past? What has helped you to stick with them? Please share!

A Birthday Wish To Build a Dream On.

“It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.” — Gabriel Garcia Marquez

I have spent a great deal of my life collecting quotes in notebooks. Words speak to me. I can’t even effectively use Pinterest because so many of the things I want to “pin” have no images…only words that resonate with me.

The quote above from one of my favorite authors, which I came across on Curated Quotes, is an excellent perspective for the birthday deniers to consider.

I have never understood people who want to pretend their birthdays aren’t happening. I used to attribute my unbridled enthusiasm for birthdays to being the youngest among my friends. As I was always catching up, I had no desire to deny my aging. Yet now I’m in my 40s. I am no longer regularly the youngest. Nevertheless, I still love birthdays.

A birthday is a day to celebrate the best of you and begin afresh in pursuing your dreams. I may be sagging in places I didn’t use to sag – but that’s still no reason to bemoan a changing number. Bring on the birthdays, I say. I will be pursuing dreams right up until my very last birthday.

“Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.” —Jean Paul Richter

Frosty’s First Words & Us

Rudolph, The Grinch, Charlie Brown and his hopeless Christmas tree, the Miser brothers (my FAVORITE), and Frosty are all making their reappearances this time of year. My son loves Frosty.

This year I heard Frosty’s “first words” in a new light because of this blog. When Frosty is first brought to life he pipes up with “Happy Birthday!” How wonderful! I love the idea of someone starting out living with these celebratory words. Imagine if we all started our days embracing the happiness and good feeling we have for others when we say those two magical words.

This reminded me of a picture a friend sent me with encouragement to treat everyone as if it’s their birthday. In looking for the image again, I found the words attributed to Kid President. His uplifting & funny video endorsing the idea is worth watching:

Give someone a pep talk. Share a corn dog. Say Happy Birthday!

Don’t judge by the wrapping

I pride myself on thoughtful gifts. I like to pay attention throughout the year and note things family and friends say they like or want. Then, when the time comes, I can surprise them with something they may have forgotten they wanted. Having heard an abbreviated summary of The 5 Love Languages, I feel secure in my self assessment as a giver.

However, facing the mound of presents I’ve been saving to give for Christmas, I’m reminded how much I dislike wrapping presents. Wrapping gifts neatly is something I don’t take the time to do. My BFF is an amazing gift wrapper who uses pretty papers, nice crisp edges, lovely bows and gift cards. (One reason she’s my BFF is that she forgives my horrible wrappings). My presents look bad enough that my almost-niece, my BFF’s daughter, commented on one of my paper-terrorized-by-tape debacles in that way that children have of pointing out the obvious.

I don’t remember exactly what she said, only that I was mortified.

Now, I could promise to take care with future present wrapping. Awareness is half the battle. But I’m not making promises I can’t keep. I will instead offer great ideas for wrapping presents that my more patient readers can enjoy (and I can envy).


Real Simple is supposed to make life easier, but they’re just raising the bar. “Creative accents?” Who has time for those! OK, if you do, they have some great ideas in this slideshow.

On Pinterest people go to town gift wrapping. Here’s one collection of pins.

Buzzfeed has 23 cool tricks. Maybe my origami-obsessed son can handle making the paper bows.

In the meantime, happy giving. Let me know below in the comments if you have other cool gift wrapping strategies to share!

Downhill good or downhill bad?

Do you have any friends who have remained 29 or 39 for many, many birthdays? There’s an inclination among some to avoid the milestone birthdays. What do we have against the zero’s? Whenever asked, my Dad said he was “zero” for my entire childhood.

In an Indianapolis Star article, a mental health counselor notes how people can choose to ignore the negative aspects of milestone birthdays. The idea that “it’s all downhill from here.” Instead, make the choice to look at the milestone as a time to celebrate accomplishments and get motivated to do something new, different, or challenging.

Did you know most of us make our biggest decisions in the year leading up to the milestone birthday?bungee-jumping-1

A study published last month by Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences noted that the transition year to the new decade is when most people step back and re-evaluate.

For instance, Science of Us coverage of their work noted that there were 950,000 men aged 29, 39, 49 or 59 among the more than 8 million male users of a dating site designed for people seeking affairs (I’m not providing that link!). They said this was 18% more than would be expected by chance. They found similarly among women but not as strong.

Alter and Hershfield also note there are more suicides in a -9 year. Additionally, there’s research suggesting people train harder and get faster times in a marathon run the year before they turn 30 or 40.

Share below! What has a milestone birthday or its approach prompted you to do in answering the “What Am I Doing with My Life” question.

Single on your 30th? Have a Pepper Person!

If you are single on your birthday and that bothers you, don’t live in Denmark. As if turning 30 isn’t a traumatic enough experience, there’s an added level of anxiety-inducing fun among the Danish.

According to Brian Dahl’s site about Danish getaways, a bachelor at 30 is a pebersvend (or “pepper man”) while the unmarried female of the same age is a pebermø (“pepper maid”).

Just in case your neighbors are unaware of your solo status, its a tradition to put a big pepper mill in front of the home of the birthday guy or gal. No, we’re not talking a little pepper grinder someone might use in a restaurant to spice up your entree. This is made out of “something like 2 or 3 old oil drums filled with concrete and decorated with a big number 30.”

Here’s one version I found on Flickr: Pebermø

Or a male version also from Flickr:

Pebersvend på lars tyndskid's

These are even bigger than Dahl led me to imagine! And North Americans thought a cake with a big 30 on top was a tough reminder.

Merging Birthday Traditions — Watch out!

A marriage is a merging of family traditions and different backgrounds or cultures. I was born and raised in Canada. My husband was shaped by his years in South Carolina. But what’s an annual tradition that really creates a crisis in our household? The opening of the presents!

Growing up we had to wait until the end of the day to open any presents. If we’d gone to Baskin Robbins’ for a birthday club free cone, we had to wait until we came back from there.

My husband’s presents were opened earlier.

So, he wants to present his gifts early in the day — or worse he waits until dinner only to offer them up in a public space (strangers watching me accept gifts? I love the birthday wishes, but I like to keep my presents private).

Now, thanks to Mental Floss, I know that the Danish put presents around the child’s bed for her to see upon first waking up. So, maybe my hubby is actually Danish? But, then, I guess he would also put a Danish flag

outside our door each year to announce that someone within was having a birthday.

Another Danish tradition? Baking a cake person — either male or female depending on the birthday child’s gender — and eating the head first! So, we’ll blow out the candles and make a wish to fend off bad spirits for a year, but then chop the head off my cake doppelganger? That doesn’t raise my spirits.

cakeman

Photo courtesy of denmark-getaway.com

When/where do you like to open birthday presents? Comment below to share!