#birthday

Birthdays at 100. Not so bad after all.

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birthday fun fact

Photo credit: MichaelTapp via Foter.com / CC BY-NC

If I were a better debater I might be dead now. Back in my college days I ran a debate case with a partner suggesting that anyone reaching the age of ____ should end their lives. I don’t remember wanting to kill them, but they were to dutifully off themselves. I don’t remember the precise age either; but I am certain 40 would have been as old as I would likely go. More likely 35.

I was 18. That seemed forever away, and I couldn’t imagine wanting to be middle aged. Let alone old. It’s the same kind of thinking four-year-olds show in seeing 16-year-olds as adults.

Recently, though, I read we are typically lasting longer. I know my RSS feed for birthdays regularly shows someone hitting 100 featured in their local paper.  It’s no longer a big thing. According to the Press of Atlantic City, the National Study of Aging projects the population of people 100 and older is expected to increase 400 percent or more.

A Saskatoon paper in my native Canada recently covered six centenarians’ celebrating their birthdays together in the same senior’s center.

Also recently on social media there was an image going around of a 98-year-old man wanting to get 98 likes from his granddaughter’s network. He was over 69k when I read about it, and the messages were from around the world wishing the man a happy day. I loved seeing people from Ireland, Tokyo, Australia and France wishing the near-centenarian happy birthday.

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Image source: Popsugar.com

And now that I am officially middle aged, I can appreciate someone living that long. I still don’t know that I want to, but I understand the appeal. After all, I have a son now and would love to see as many of his birthdays as I can. Plus, seeing a grandchild’s birthdays (while a largely unfathomable idea right now) would be something to enjoy too.

So, take this blog as a public retraction of my earlier stance. I will live and let live with my own special emphasis on birthdays going forward!

Birthdays as Anniversaries of Grief

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Birthday Grief

Photo credit: Neal. via Foter.com/CC BY

I’ve been binge watching the Gilmore Girls and just this week watched a Season 5 episode where Luke has a “dark day” on the anniversary of his father’s death.

This made me think also of Facebook friends marking death anniversaries. One woman bakes cookies for breakfast on her dead child’s birthday and encourages her friends to do the same for their children. Another does acts of kindness on her loved ones’ birthday and invites us to do the same to honor her daughter.

As one blogger, a co-founder of a group that comforts families facing infant loss, wrote, “the years go so quickly, even as some of the days drag their feet.” She puts a cupcake at her daughter’s grave and sings Happy Birthday there.

Grief doesn’t magically end at a certain point, the Mayo Clinic observes. They reassuringly note a resurgence of grief on special days throughout the year is “sometimes called an anniversary reaction” and isn’t “necessarily a setback in the grieving process.”

The clinic’s suggestions for reawakened grief include:

  • Be prepared. Anniversary reactions are normal. Knowing that you’re likely to experience anniversary reactions can help you understand them and even turn them into opportunities for healing.
  • Reminisce about your relationship. Focus on the good things about your relationship with your loved one and the time you had together, rather than the loss.
  • Start a new tradition. Make a donation to a charitable organization in your loved one’s name on birthdays or holidays, or plant a tree in honor of your loved one.
  • Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions. It’s OK to be sad and feel a sense of loss, but also allow yourself to experience joy and happiness. As you celebrate special times, you might find yourself both laughing and crying.

Dr. Christina Hibbert, who created a three-minute therapeutic YouTube video addressing “Death Anniversaries, Birthdays and Holidays,” notes the first year is the hardest because we don’t know what to expect.

Moving forward, expectations may be clearer, but grief can still rise and fall. Some years the birthday will go by as a day of happy memories. Another day, it will be a rough day recalling sadness.

In addressing sorrow on anniversaries such as birthdays, there’s no best advice. Everyone experiences grief differently, just as we all celebrate our birthdays with individual flair.

If someone you love’s candle has been snuffed, I hope you find some solace in a few of these strategies about marking the birthday with grief or laughter.

What Birthdays Are About

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Photo credit: Kalexanderson via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Maybe you’ve already seen the viral video going around of a teacher moved to tears by his students when they throw him a surprise birthday party.

Not everyone loves a surprise, but this feel-good story is proof of the value of birthdays.

English teacher Kyle Simpler enjoys a cake (featuring his favorite cat Felix) and the students have decorated his Burleson High School classroom. Considering the 59-year-old says he’s typically private and his family doesn’t make a big deal of birthdays, the Inside Edition, HuffingtonPost, and 30,000 video views of his arrival in his classroom are certainly a change. Yet, I’d argue, it’s being made to feel special that has the true impact.

I live with a high school teacher. I can bet he too would be thrilled if his students showed him some birthday love. Not only because it’s his birthday, but because it shows appreciation of the hard work he does.

There are other examples online of students surprising their teachers on their birthdays. What I love about these videos is the joy on the birthday celebrant’s face, but also the enthusiasm the students feel for being part of this special day.

We enjoy being part of someone’s birthday. Even over the Internet. Seriously, google searching “students surprise teacher birthday” netted four pages of the same Texas schoolteacher story retold by news outlets around the world. Why? Because it makes us smile, wherever we are, whether we know the person or not, to see someone enjoying a birthday and feeling the love.

That, my loyal readers, is the true value of birthdays! Think I’m weird to love birthdays this much? Look again at the love shared on these special days and you’ll have better insight into why I am such a big birthday fan.

 

Lucky Lottery Birthdays

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Lottery birthday Fun Fact

Photo credit: Jeremy Brooks via Foter.com / CC BY-NC

Many of us view our birthday as a lucky day. Some take it even farther and play birthdays to win big in the lottery!

  • A North Carolina man played his family’s birthdays to pick all five numbers and win $246,279 from a $1 ticket. “I’d used those numbers for a while and was about to pick some new ones,” Svedek said in the news coverage. “I’m so glad I didn’t. This feels really good.”
  • A Virginia woman won $100,000 when playing family birthdays on Powerball. She thought she’d only won $50K, but since she spent the extra dollar for Power Play her prize doubled and, according to her daughter, “she just about had a hard attack.”

Turns out, though, this isn’t actually the best way to pick lottery numbers. Sure, the numbers are easy to remember, but lottotutor.com — yes, there is such a site — suggests playing “birth dates starts you out on a disadvantaged path.”

You are, after all, limited to the numbers 1 to 31. Plus, if you do win, there’s a “higher probability of a diminished return by sharing that prize pool…because so many other lotto players also use their birthday numbers.”

Of course another way to incorporate a birthday with the lottery is to buy the tickets as a gift. A 19-year-old received two Illinois scratch off tickets from her Dad on her birthday and won $4 million! (Guess her Dad’s feeling pretty set on birthday presents for his daughter for years to come).

Nevertheless, as I wrap up this blog, I can imagine my logic professor brother rolling his eyes at me for even remotely endorsing the lottery. So, I’ll remind you that your odds for winning the lottery are slim — whether you play birthdays or not.

Lots of Birthday Chocolat

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A friend who knows me well suggested I should write about birthday chocolate. As a lover of both birthdays and chocolate, I am game.

Chocolate birthday

Image Source: The Cupcake Cowgirls

So, what does one write about birthday chocolate? How deliciously delectable it is? How deliriously happy you might make a birthday celebrant with a simple box of chocolates? You should already know this.

I was interested to see, though, how the chocolate companies handle birthday offerings:

  • Godiva, for instance, touts its birthday gifts suggesting: “You’ll never have trouble finding birthday presents again now that you’ve discovered these chocolate birthday gift baskets… you’ll be the rock star for getting the perfect birthday presents.”
  • Russell Stover lets you pick the chocolates for your gift box and personalize the packaging by adding text and your own photo (although this isn’t specific to birthdays, but that’s one of the examples).
  • Ghirardelli wants you to “celebrate someone special” by choosing the 15 chocolate squares to go in their gold tin with birthday wrapper.
  • Laura Secord didn’t market for birthdays, but as a proud Canadian I do have to say I thought the milk chocolate NHL team-themed hockey pucks were pretty cool.

If you want to make your own chocolate goodies for a birthday there are many recipes for a #yummybday.

Hershey’s Perfectly Chocolate Cake is an easy recipe to follow.

Or how about these two-ingredient gluten-free truffles from Minimalist Baker.

Birthday chocolate

Image source: Minimalist Baker

More of a white chocolate fan? Try Sally’s Baking Addiction recipe for Cake Batter White Chocolate Fudge (although white chocolate is fake chocolate…).

Birthday yummy

Image Source: Sally’s Baking Addiction

I’m personally a fan of Chocolate Mousse, so here’s a simple recipe for that (although I have yet to make one at home that meets my high standards).

Finally, I thought I’d finish this rumination with a few fun facts selected from Slide Fact’s 22 about chocolate. Did you know:

  • Ruth Wakefield traded her recipe for Toll House Cookies in exchange for a lifetime supply of chocolate.
  • We can overdose on chocolate. A lethal dose is 22 pounds (or about 40 chocolate bars).
  • Every second, Americans collectively eat 100 pounds of chocolate — that’s birthdays or not!

Hey Shorty! It’s Your Birthday.

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Birthday height

Ok, I do love the Go Shorty, It’s Your Birthday song. Of course, I do. It’s a birthday song!

Yet a recent study in Britain also reveals that your birthday has an impact on whether or not you really will be a shorty or not.

October babies (me again) are on the lower quarter in terms of expected height! December’s babies are the real midgets on the chart drawn by the Telegraph’s infographic team.

A UK study examined the growth and development of 450,000 men and women to find:

  • Children born in June, July, and August were heavier at birth and taller as adults.
  • Summer babies were 10% less likely to be short — under 5 foot 9 inches for men and 5 foot 3 inches for women.
  • Girls born in the summer started puberty later.
  • Individuals born in autumn vs. summer were more likely to continue in education post age 16 years or attain a degree-level qualification.

The authors suggested the results were related to how much sunlight the mother gets during pregnancy, since that in part determines in utero vitamin D exposure.

Oh, and the Telegraph had another article along this lines, reporting on a study of 400 people that said “babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults.”

I guess these are more things we can blame on our parents. That is if we’re willing to even consider the fact that our birth month reflects a certain effort on their part nine months earlier.

Best of January Birthdays?

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There’s a lot of complaining about December birthdays. I have two friends born on December 25th, another December 23rd, and my husband’s is December 30th. They all have bemoaned the sharing of their birthday with Christmas. Even my mother, a December 16th child, has talked about having birthday presents combined with Christmas presents, which according to at least one web critic is a big no-no.

Yet, I wonder if people who have January birthdays could be worse off? I’m an October baby (as faithful readers well know by now). So, I don’t have personal experience with this.

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Only it seems to me that January babies could encounter the following:

  • Gift givers being plain tuckered out with shopping.
  • Bank accounts are especially strained after the holidays.
  • Re-gifted gifts. (So, I didn’t like it under the tree, but it’s perfect for you!).*

Of course, I’m not going to feel too badly for the January baby. After all, there are studies showing the many advantages that come from being born at the start of the year. I wrote about what Malcolm Gladwell said about this just last month.

Still, I don’t want to squash the enthusiasm of any January babies. So, I’ll end off with this list of special things about this birth month courtesy of American Greetings:

  • January is home of several awesome national monthly observances, including National Hobby Month, National Blood Donor Month, National Book Month, and National Thank You Month.
  • January is a month of extremes! It is the coldest month in the northern hemisphere and the hottest month in the southern hemisphere.
  • Your birthstone is the garnet, which represents purity, truth and friendship.
  • The flowers of January are the snowdrop and the carnation.

Oh, OK, one more downside from a Pinterest posting to consider:

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*Re-gifting is not one of the birthday taboos I wrote about previously. Maybe it should have been.

Happy Birthday Officially!

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Happy Birthday 2016!

Well before I stayed up late and drank too much bubbly at 2016’s birthday bash last night, I started thinking of all the birthdays that we’ve turned into holidays.

This is one of the best kinds of birthday. Someone else’s birthday is so special we get a day off from work? Yes please! It’s one reason we love celebrating the birth of our countries too. There’s Bastille Day July 14 in France whereas China takes a week off in October to mark its National Day.

But, let’s see what famous folk merit a government-acknowledged holiday to commemorate their birth:

  • Martin Luther King Day, celebrated in the United States since 1983, is on the third Monday of January to mark Dr. King’s birthday January 15 — although this holiday is meant to be commemorated with service.
  • President’s Day is the third Monday in February. Although it started out marking George Washington’s Feb 22 birth, the day now marks all U.S. presidents’ birthdays (though history.com, reports some states do still mark Lincoln or Washington individually).
  • Victoria Day in Canada celebrates Queen Victoria born May 24. The day is officially recognized with the Monday preceding May 25 off. That’s why it’s popularly known as May 2-4 weekend (for all the people who head to the cottage with a 2-4 of beer —Even though Victoria would surely not approve!).
  • Australia marks the Queen’s birthday the same Monday in May, but New Zealanders wait until June 1 (probably since that’s closer to Elizabeth’s birthday).
  • Queen Elizabeth is feted June 9 in England, although her birthday is actually April 21 (the two birthdays for reigning monarchs is quite common apparently).

Oh, and October 6 is a work holiday at my house for the awesomeness that is me, but I’ve yet to persuade others to join me.

What officially-recognized government-sanctioned birthdays did I miss? Let me know! I’d love to add to this list.

 

 

Birthday Party Trouble

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There are several reasons a birthday could lead to trouble. Let’s think of a few:

  • Party is too loud.
  • Underage drinking.
  • Drinking and driving.
  • Stolen presents.
  • Over-the-top antics prompted by too much birthday fun.
  • Rioting when your birthday invitation goes viral (yep, that happened).
  • Pulling out a gun when people don’t sing your girlfriend happy birthday (yep, that happened too).
  • Celebrating your birthday with a dozen or so friends in an Irish pub.

Uhm? What?! Yep, that last one happened in Tajikistan this year, and the birthday boy was fined the equivalent of four months pay!

According to The Daily Mail (Kate Pickles reporting – tee hee — Pickles), it’s against the law in Tajikistan to celebrate your birthday outside of the home with more than family. The law was passed in 2007 to prevent excess spending.

Birthday boy Isayev Amirbek, who was aware of the law, thought he was OK to gather his friends for his 25th, as he and his friends simply brought a cake and spent approximately 540 somoni between them (that’s under $100US). Yet he was fined 4,000 somoni (roughly $640US) for his audacity.

Amirbek claimed at first it was just a friend’s night out, but in court prosecutors proved he’d broken the law against celebrating his birthday in public using photographs of the birthday cake posted on Facebook.

Pickles reported the law limits the number of guests, how much money can be spent and the duration of a gathering. Apparently the law was violated 394 times in 2014!

I can maybe see the point of banning lavish birthday extravaganzas in a struggling economy (although think of all the people hired to make the party possible). Yet getting your friends together at a pub and giving each a piece of cake is a preposterous reason to take someone to court! Surely there has to be a better way to spend the time and energy of police, lawyers and court officials than pooh-poohing someone’s birthday fun.

Birthday Party

Photo credit: / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

Happy Me-being-nice-to-me Day!

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I had an epiphany recently when a friend told me she’d made the argument to her daughter’s father that “birthdays are for kids.” She was certain I’d disagree. Of course I do. But I kept thinking about why.

Am I just a crazy attention-hog to enjoy my birthday so much? Perhaps, yes. But I had another realization. My birthday, now that I am older, has become a day for me to be nice to me.

  • I take the day off work. Always.
  • I treat myself to a pedicure or a massage. Often.
  • I go see a movie I want to see, on my own.
  • I eat out by myself while my family is at work and school. Then I let them take me out to dinner.
  • I go to the gym if I feel like it. Or I sleep in. It’s up to me! No guilt.
  • I buy a chai and don’t feel badly about spending the $ although I could make one at home.
Birthday chai

Photo credit: bearepresa / Foter / CC BY

I don’t expect lots of presents, or a party, or everyone singing to me (that’s the kid part), but I thrive on the excuse to put me first for a few days. 

As a Mom, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a teacher, a writer, a freelancer, a dog owner…and all the other roles I play, I can’t always put my own desires at the top of the list. But when my birthday comes along I focus on what will make me happiest.

Instead of thinking of birthdays as being just for kids, I’ve realized it’s time I treat myself like it’s my birthday more days out of the year!