Birthday Parties

Happy Birthday My Country!

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This coming week both my countries have a birthday. First up, I get to celebrate my home and native land on Canada Day July 1. Then, it’s time to add a splash of blue to that red and white outfit in honor of the USA and July 4th.

This makes for two big birthday parties in one week, and it’s a lot of fun. The national holiday is a perfect melding of what I love about birthdays with some patriotic pomp added in. There’s typically:

  • Cake — cakes so huge that they can feed an entire town’s worth of people who come to the event.
  • Singing — national anthems in particular in both countries, but for Canada Day I like to amp up the “CanCon” — check out Canadian Content such as Tragically Hip or Sloan or maybe the Classified rap anthem embedded below.
  • Coming together — family and friends enjoying the opportunity to party together. Youppi! (That’s French for Yippee).
Birthday Fireworks

Photo credit: maf04 / Foter / CC BY-SA

Plus, national birthdays add another element I love — fireworks. Sparklers, too. But fireworks are probably the best part. I have many a fond memory of our friends and family gathering on the cul de sac at sunset on Canada Day for our fathers to blast off the fireworks all the neighbors had pitched in for. Fireworks connect us in much the same way as singing Happy Birthday does. We join in together to “ooh,” “aah,” clap and count the number of explosions — all while having a blast with friends and family.

I hope wherever you are reading this you enjoy your next national birthday with both patriotic pride and joy of being with the ones you love.

Sayonara Birthday Clowns

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Back in my day the most exciting thing that might happen at a birthday party was to have a clown or magician provide entertainment. Getting to dress up in costume was pretty awesome, too. As was my first and only visit to Chuck e. Cheese’s (until I became a parent).

Today, though, I’ve been to parties where backyards are transformed into a bouncy castle playground or set up with multiple inflatable water slides. And we’re not even talking about the extravagant kinds of part they throw on reality television. Or the great fun you can have throwing an Amazing Race or Survivor-themed birthday party.

But when it comes to entertainment there are also clever new options. A friend of my son’s went to a party where they got to play videogames in a truck – I love this idea for entertaining pre-teen boys and bringing the party to me without messing up my house (which would be so pristine otherwise!).

My new favorite though is the Storm Trooper DJ (seen below) who could judge a lightsaber dance competition. With the new Star Wars movie coming out this Christmas, I think this will be right up the alley of my February birthday boy come 2016.

http://iaf.tv/2015/05/27/dj-stormtrooper-is-available-for-birthdays/

Celebrating You is Good.

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Regular readers of this blog might think I only love birthdays because I am a greedy attention hound who loves being the center of attention.

While that characterization may be true, that’s not the only reason I love birthdays. Birthdays are also a day when we treat ourselves well — whether or not we have the attention or participation of others.

Consider my elderly neighbor who has a wide range of garden flags rotated throughout the year. She lives alone, but she puts up a Happy Birthday flag each year to announce her own birthday!

bday flagShe’s rarely seen out of her house, so it’s not as if she’s trying to elicit a neighborhood outpouring of celebratory greetings. She’s doing this for herself – to smile and celebrate every time she pulls into her own driveway.

Birthdays are a day we all treat ourselves a little better. Maybe we allow ourselves to sleep in. Or we get a massage. Or we treat ourselves to that relaxed chai with a book. Or we see a movie we’ve wanted to see (even alone in the middle of the day). Or we schedule a few less conference calls and go enjoy a yoga class.

Photo credit: Silvia Sala / Source / CC BY-NC-ND

Photo credit: Silvia Sala / Source / CC BY-NC-ND

Self care is one of the truly great things about birthdays. Now if we could only get in the habit of doing it more often throughout the year.

Excessive Extravagance Explained?

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Have you heard yet about these birthday party and present extravagances?

  • Suri Cruise and her kid pals noshing on a $5000 birthday cake.
  • Jay-Z and Beyonce spent US$200,000 on the first birthday party of their daughter, Blue Ivy.
  • David and Victoria Beckham once had a playhouse custom-built for son Brooklyn’s birthday. They spent US$187,000 on a gift for a six year old!
  • P-Diddy’s $3 Million birthday apparently included $28K in orchids.

Other examples include:

  • Hiring a yacht for a 10-year-old’s party
  • Hosting 50 youngsters at Disneyland
  • Tiffany gift bags (for little girls!)

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In “Confessions of a Party Pauper,” Kylie Knott interviewed a child psychologist about these kind of excesses. Lora Lee suggested, “Parents see lavish parties as a way to compensate for a lack of parenting time.”

Another family psychologist, Laurene Man, noted lavish parties have “no direct bearing on the children’s happiness.” In fact, she suggested that large parties overhelm a child. “They can’t relate to so many children at one time, not to mention so many adults. Kids enjoy small simple parties – playing with a few children on one or two simple games.”

Man recommended parents think back to their own birthday parties to gain insight about what’s truly memorable about birthdays. I remember:

  • My mother making really creative sheet cakes decorated with M&Ms or Smarties.
  • Getting to go to Baskin & Robbin’s every year for a free cone.
  • Loving the present game where you sit in a circle and get to unwrap one layer of paper from the prize gift it was in your lap when the music stopped.
  • Dressing up in a hand-made costume for a friend’s Superhero party.

What simple pleasures do you remember and wish we still embraced at birthday parties?

The birthday trump card

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A columnist in Australia was recently disappointed with the attention paid to his birthday. I totally get that. But his solution to the problem is just a tad extreme. He proposes: “So once we hit 21, let’s stop celebrating our birthdays.”

Sure, he’s got this hidden in some bumpf about how we should not need one special day to organize a social gathering with friends. Instead, we should try and do so more often throughout the year. Of course, this is true! Let’s all get together more often to celebrate one another and share some laughs.

Only in reality that’s tough, right? I’ve long been teased for being a “cruise director.” Trying to get people together is one of my ways of making and keeping friends. Yet, as we roll past our 20s (when everyone’s up for a party/get-together/BBQ/movie/game night because they still have time, disposable income and the ability to bounce back) it becomes more difficult to get people together. Birthday or no birthday. The advantage of a birthday celebration is that people work harder to find the babysitter, put the date in their calendar, and get out of pjs to stay up past 10 p.m.

Birthday’s are the trump card of all social planning (other than perhaps a wedding). Planning two coinciding birthdays can cause family strife: witness the family drama when party plans collided. Yet, ultimately, the more cause to celebrate the better. I’d say instead of jettisoning the entire tradition this gentleman in Australia would be better served by planning ahead.

Image source: http://www.highlowfooddrink.com/2011/01/easy-entertaining-pink-and-purple-polka.html

Image source: http://www.highlowfooddrink.com/2011/01/easy-entertaining-pink-and-purple-polka.html

Her 16th was truly a riot.

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Photo courtesy Daily Mail

Photo courtesy Daily Mail

In North America at least, the 16th birthday is monumental. Check out the insanity of “My Super Sweet 16.” The reality shows 15-year-olds and their parents going way overboard for this threshold year party. Kidzworld reports one of the parties cost $203,000 US and that one Florida girl welcomed Ciara to the stage at her big event.

All these kids want to throw the biggest or most memorable party of the year.

Well, they are all trumped by an unfortunate Dutch 16-year-old who posted her birthday party invitation on Facebook and didn’t use privacy settings. The invitation went viral. According to the Daily Mail, her guest list ballooned to 3,000 and that doesn’t include the nearly 600 riot police needed to corral the crowd.

Molly Ringwald’s disastrous 16th aside, I have never before heard of a 16th birthday going as badly as this one did!

Bill Me for Your Birthday?

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med75-001Throwing a birthday party can be expensive. Happily my son has selected a sleepover this year. I’ve decided the savings is worth the insanity that is sure to ensue (and the crankiness to be expected from my sleep-deprived birthday boy the day after).

Yet, anyone who has planned a child’s birthday at a venue knows hosts often have to give the number of guests expected in advance and are charged per person. Of course, since we’re talking about petri dishes of pestilence — I mean children — there can be no-shows.

Sure, this hurts the host’s pocketbook, but with utter shock I report an English mother actually charged another set of parents for their failure to bring a five-year-old to her son’s party. Of course it is surprising the threat of litigation didn’t happen first in the U.S! But the woman even printed out a full-on invoice (shown in The Telegraph story) for approximately $24 US!

The Telegraph editorial didn’t “seek to take sides,” but a columnist in the paper wrote that she would have just paid the bill to “rise above” playground politics.

RSVPs are common sense and letting hosts know of changing plans is good manners. Had I skipped out at the last minute I would feel guilty and would have apologized profusely for the inconvenience. But would I have felt financially responsible? H-E-double-hockey-sticks No.

One today? Smash it!

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It isn’t a first birthday until someone has cake all over his face. Or, in the case of some buzzkill friends of mine who WILL be named (Jay & Jenny), yogurt!

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I’m all for healthy eating (well, 86% for it at least), but on your birthday you deserve cake. Even if you are only 1-year-old. Witness my own son’s first birthday cupcake smoosh-a-thon. Yes, it does deserve a-thon because, as you may remember, he had a Charlie Brown party but I had already made the cupcakes expecting friends. So, we had plenty of monkey-faced cakes for him to chow down upon.

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If nothing else the birthday cake eating/smashing moment is a great one for posterity. Here are some other great images of youthful cake glee I discovered via google.

Image source: http://www.bumpandbambino.com

Image source: http://jp16.r0tt.com/t_b86908a0-c56d-11e2-9968-cf597fc00016.jpg

Image source: http://blogs.babycenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/outfit13-300×200.jpg

Cake smashing is its own sub-genre on Pinterest. Here’s some great photography to enjoy!

Of course there is now actually a trend to provide the birthday girl or boy with her or his own cake that they can use for finger food and face stuffing. That seems a little much for a kid who won’t remember the moment past their next nap. Nevertheless, you only turn one once. Let the baby eat cake!

Share your own pics and thoughts in the comments below. I’d love to see them! The messier the better.

“Birthday Cake Fail” Fast Approaching

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My son’s birthday is coming up. This means it’s nearly time for me to attempt another overly ambitious feat of cake decorating. I try to keep with the theme he’s selected, but what I envision in my head is seldom what the guests enjoy.

I remember my mother making really creative cakes for my brother and me. However, my mother is a visual artist; I am a writer.

Google “birthday cake fail” and you’ll find many options. PopSugar offers a 43-picture slide show. BuzzFeed labels its article: “24 People Who Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Decorate Cakes.”

This is mocking people who have made the effort to make their loved one’s birthday that much better. These people didn’t just go to the grocery store and let some professional pipe on “Happy Birthday Sweetie.” No, they added the eggs to that boxed cake mix and pulled out the tub of icing and got creative!

I say suck up the ugly and taste the love!!

In the meantime, here are some of my past efforts (I expect to see these in someone else’s Cake Fail album one day).

For a beach party theme.

For a beach party theme.

These are supposed to be monkeys. Can't you tell?

These are supposed to be monkeys. Can’t you tell?

Most recent effort became a mess of confetti and cutouts from cereal box as my superhero plan went woefully awry.

Most recent effort became a mess of confetti and cutouts from cereal box as my superhero plan went woefully awry.

Sports-themed cupcakes. Probably my best yet (except for the hockey sticks on the right).

Sports-themed cupcakes. Probably my best yet (except for the hockey sticks on the right).

A good gift to give

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Birthday party for couple believed to be world’s oldest. Pic courtesy of Yorkshire Post

Reading about the world’s oldest couple – he’s 109 and she’s 102 – celebrating their birthdays together, I noticed the proud son’s comment about the joy of the whole family coming together to join in the fun.

This on the same day a friend told me she’s looking for a divorce lawyer. In wondering how the child of the relationship would adapt to the situation, I became curious what advice is available to help divorced parents navigate the challenges of celebrating their child’s birthday.

For children birthdays are all about fun and happiness and being the center of attention. I host a birthday blog, so of course I think this should be true for adults too.

Divorce Help for Parents reminds parents to focus on the child. Other tips are to: act like an adult, create opportunities for the child to celebrate with both parents (not necessarily together) and to include extended family. The advice that stands out to me? “Parents, you have it within your power to control your conflict with the other parent. Please, use it.” Well said.

Amy Ardnt, writing on Huffington Post, says “the best gift divorced parents can give their kids” is putting the kid first and making time spent together pleasant.

On WomansDivorce.com Heidi Woodard shares the efforts she and her ex-husband made to give their son a happy birthday party. The reward? Her son’s comment “I have the coolest parents in the world because you both work together to make me happy.”

Not all of us are going to make it to our 100s. Not all of us are going to make it as a couple. But, we can all make a decided effort to make a child’s birthday the best day it can be.