Birthday Gifts

Gift Giving Taboos

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Birthday gift

Photo credit: / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

For many people part of the excitement of birthdays is the gifts. I’m not only talking about kids. Adults can get pretty loopy about the loot they receive too.

In the interest of helping out loyal readers of this blog, I’ve compiled a list of gifts to avoid for the superstitious and with attention paid to international customs:

  • It’s bad luck to give a clock or timepiece gift in China as the word for clock sounds like death.
  • Handkerchiefs are another bad choice (because you know you were ready to give those monogrammed ones you made!) as they are used to wipe away sadness and frustration and you don’t want to draw those to the birthday recipient.
  • Moroccans may not want their gifts in yellow, pink or violet as those are colors associated with death.
  • Put a small amount of money in a new wallet, purse, or piggy bank to give the receiver good luck or to ensure that they will never be without money (depending on which interpretation of the tradition you adhere to).
  • Shoes can be a mistake as they symbolize giving the birthday guy or girl the ability to walk away forever.
  • Giving an umbrella or fan is thought to be bad luck too (because the Chinese words for fan and umbrella sound like the word meaning to scatter or to lose).

Apparently, the way to counteract many of these superstitions is for the birthday boy or girl to pay the giver a token sum (even a penny). In this way they have paid for this item instead of getting it as a gift. Somehow that keeps the chi/fates/bad luck elves at bay.

And whether or not you are superstitious, you should probably steer clear of self improvement gifts. You might have the best of intentions, but you could easily offend your recipient by wrapping up that diet cookbook or bathroom scale as a birthday gift.

Need help with the wrapping of your now appropriately chosen gift? I blogged some suggestions in the past.

Birthday Branding

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When a company or organization uses a birthday as a way to emotionally appeal to consumers, you can imagine I’m easily sucked in.

Recently I saw a commercial online that truly embraces the birthday spirit. I enjoyed the video, but watching the behind the scenes video really enhanced my experience. So I decided that, even though I don’t know where this company is providing energy to the masses, I would highlight it’s super-sweet birthday celebrations commercial:

What I hadn’t realized the first time I watched was that they had 100 distinct cakes for each of the people feted in this video. Fun! And I love that they celebrated a dog’s birthday too!

Birthday dog

Photo credit: / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

On the accompanying video, they collect insights into what a birthday means from people from the commercial production. A director says, “birthdays really tell you about where you are in your life, where you’ve been and where you’re going.” While others talk about the joy of wishing on the cake candles, appreciating the birthday milestone, and the fun of bringing family and friends together to celebrate you.

It’s the heartfelt enthusiasm throughout that makes me smile — in the commercial and its accompanying behind the scenes. So, while I can be suspicious of businesses that try to sucker us into spending $ with an appeal to birthday bliss, this one I had to share. It’s a dose of birthday sugar without calories to feel guilty about!

Furry Friend Birthdays No Folly

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Do you fete your dog or cat for their birthday? The pet friendly industry is booming (Americans spent $58 Billion on their pets in 2014), so I was wondering if and how you mark the passing of a birthday for your beloved furry friend.

birthday dog

Photo credit: SimonWhitaker / Foter / CC BY-NC

My parents used to give their dog a pound of raw ground beef that I would decorate with doggie bones. My own dog would love the cake pictured here:

canine cake

Photo credit: TheGiantVermin / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

I tend instead to give her an extra rawhide that day and maybe a squeaky toy with seventeen squeakers to try and excavate from the poor stuffed animal by day’s end.

Feline fun

Photo credit: jfiess / Foter / CC BY

Cats strike me as harder to encourage to embrace any festivities. But this plate would likely help!

Birthday feline

Photo credit: Finn Frode (DK) / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

These birthday treats are not as tasty as ours, but we can still let our furry friends feel the love, right?

Let me know how you celebrate a pet’s birthday. I can’t even think what an iguana owner would do. Does a hamster get an extra special exercise wheel? Do goldfish get extra food? Or do you think marking an animal’s birthday is a crazy idea? Tell me why.

Brilliant Birthday Cakes

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I’ve written recently about birthday disasters and birthday generosity. But who doesn’t love a good piece of cake?

Birthday cake

Photo credit: Smithsonian’s National Zoo / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

Today I want to celebrate the birthday as a day to get creative with cakes. Herewith a gallery of fun birthday cakes I found doing a simple search on the fantabulously useful Foter.com:

The Ghostbusters sheet cake:

Birthday cake

Photo credit: poppet with a camera / Foter / CC BY

Or the Super Mario cake (I tried this birthday theme when my son turned five and am NOT sharing my efforts although they were certainly creative…hey, at least it tasted good).

Birthday cake

Photo credit: Fays cakes / Foter / CC BY-ND

Or this Lego one (which looks like even I could make it with some sheet pans and cupcakes):

Birthday cake

Photo credit: fd / Foter / CC BY-NC

Or this one Angry Birds-themed delicacy:

Birthday cake

Photo credit: Wicked Little Cake Company / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

Or this delicate looking one:

Birthday cake

Photo credit: distopiandreamgirl / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

Or this cake presumably tailored to a photographer in the family:

Birthday cake

Photo credit: ayos lang / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

I truly admire the originality people put on display when they want to serve up something special to friends and family. It’s one more reason that birthdays are so beautiful!

Birthday cake

Photo credit: Jamie Anderson / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

Please share your great designs below. I’d love to see them!

Birthdays in Kids’ Books: Get Better!

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Great birthday books are difficult to find. One day, mine will be released and it will be epic!

Until then, you’re mostly stuck with kids’ books. Looking at Today’s Parent Top 10, I was reminded how birthdays are often an opportunity for kids to learn to be better. In Victorian times, birthdays weren’t celebrated but rather seen as a time to encourage kids to be reflective and “grow in goodness.”

Today, it’s an opportunity for a child to celebrate but also learn or practice:

The book on their list I’m going to pick up? Happy Birdday, Tacky! Apparently Tacky the Penguin saves his own surprise party in Nice Icy Land with a positive attitude and impressive dance moves! Alright Tacky!

Photo credit: Steve Corey / iwoman / CC BY-NC

Photo credit: Steve Corey / iwoman / CC BY-NC

Birthdays ready made for relationship drama.

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Example A: The other day on campus I heard a guy ask his girlfriend to skip class for his birthday. She pointed out he hadn’t skipped on her birthday. He said she hadn’t asked. Me, I was just glad neither one was my student!

Example B: Recently I saw an advice columnist weighing in on what it means when a guy prefers to spend his birthday with his bros rather than his girlfriend of a year. The headline on the Ask Demetria column read: “Spending His Birthday With His Boys Instead of Her Proves She’s an Option, Not a Priority.” Happily, Demetria’s answer was more measured than the headline suggests. 

However, these two examples return us to the idea of the birthday trump card. When it’s our birthday we want everything to revolve around us (example A), or we’re miffed when not included in someone’s special day (example B).

And neither of these examples even touch on the etiquette of gift giving in a relationship. Avoiding that potential pitfall involves consideration of duration of dating and seriousness of intent as well as thoughtfulness, budget, and demanding nature of the present recipient!

To don my own relationship advice cap for a moment, I’d say the answer is to always speak up about expectations. Save the birthday disappointment for when your great aunt Irene sends you a fruitcake.

Don’t judge by the wrapping

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Image source: http://www.notmartha.org/images/other/2010sept/scottbday_MScraftsorig.jpg

I pride myself on thoughtful gifts. I like to pay attention throughout the year and note things family and friends say they like or want. Then, when the time comes, I can surprise them with something they may have forgotten they wanted. Having heard an abbreviated summary of The 5 Love Languages, I feel secure in my self assessment as a giver.

However, facing the mound of presents I’ve been saving to give for Christmas, I’m reminded how much I dislike wrapping presents. Wrapping gifts neatly is something I don’t take the time to do. My BFF is an amazing gift wrapper who uses pretty papers, nice crisp edges, lovely bows and gift cards. (One reason she’s my BFF is that she forgives my horrible wrappings). My presents look bad enough that my almost-niece, my BFF’s daughter, commented on one of my paper-terrorized-by-tape debacles in that way that children have of pointing out the obvious.

I don’t remember exactly what she said, only that I was mortified.

Now, I could promise to take care with future present wrapping. Awareness is half the battle. But I’m not making promises I can’t keep. I will instead offer great ideas for wrapping presents that my more patient readers can enjoy (and I can envy).

Image source: http://blog.mygiftshop.com.pk/wp-content/uploads/images/Creative-Gift-Wrapping-Ideas.jpg


Real Simple is supposed to make life easier, but they’re just raising the bar. “Creative accents?” Who has time for those! OK, if you do, they have some great ideas in this slideshow.

On Pinterest people go to town gift wrapping. Here’s one collection of pins.

Buzzfeed has 23 cool tricks. Maybe my origami-obsessed son can handle making the paper bows.

In the meantime, happy giving. Let me know below in the comments if you have other cool gift wrapping strategies to share!

Merging Birthday Traditions — Watch out!

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A marriage is a merging of family traditions and different backgrounds or cultures. I was born and raised in Canada. My husband was shaped by his years in South Carolina. But what’s an annual tradition that really creates a crisis in our household? The opening of the presents!

Growing up we had to wait until the end of the day to open any presents. If we’d gone to Baskin Robbins’ for a birthday club free cone, we had to wait until we came back from there.

My husband’s presents were opened earlier.

So, he wants to present his gifts early in the day — or worse he waits until dinner only to offer them up in a public space (strangers watching me accept gifts? I love the birthday wishes, but I like to keep my presents private).

Now, thanks to Mental Floss, I know that the Danish put presents around the child’s bed for her to see upon first waking up. So, maybe my hubby is actually Danish? But, then, I guess he would also put a Danish flag

outside our door each year to announce that someone within was having a birthday.

Another Danish tradition? Baking a cake person — either male or female depending on the birthday child’s gender — and eating the head first! So, we’ll blow out the candles and make a wish to fend off bad spirits for a year, but then chop the head off my cake doppelganger? That doesn’t raise my spirits.

cakeman

Photo courtesy of denmark-getaway.com

When/where do you like to open birthday presents? Comment below to share!

Thanks, I guess.

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Not sure what to get someone for their sixteenth birthday? Well, don’t follow the model of Queen Victoria‘s family.

In her day, birthdays were a day to offer instructions to young people. On her 14th birthday she was admonished to be reflective and “grow in goodness and become humbleminded” (as cited in Lewis, 1976).

To make sure that happened, at 16 she received a bust of her mother and illustrations of all the funerals she’d attended. Yeah, that’s a rousing way to celebrate turning another year older! At least you didn’t die as these folks did, Vicky!

What’s the weirdest gift you’ve been given? Comment below to share.

Who else remembers “Paddy Whacks?”

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I was reminded the other day of an odd thing that my grade one teacher did on her students’ birthdays. We brought cupcakes in to share with the class. Next, though, we had to brush our teeth. The birthday child would return to class to swallow a colored tablet showing how well she’d done  getting rid of the food particles.

I must be remembering this wrong, conflating two memories. Yet, I remember being excited to take the blue tablet and test my brushing skills. Thinking of my first grader today, I can imagine he too would be happy to brush his teeth and then either a) have done a great job or b) be able to gross out anyone nearby with the blue spots on his teeth.

Courtesy of Tommy Klumker via flickr http://ow.ly/BzfYL

Courtesy of Tommy Klumker via flickr http://ow.ly/BzfYL

Another thing I remember from the playground is getting the Paddy Whacks. Your classmates would all line up in a row and you would crawl between their legs as they each got a chance to spank you. You tried to go as fast as possible through the line-up hoping to avoid the slaps and (if you’d dressed up for your special day) to not ruin your nice clothes crawling on the ground.

Turns out I’m not the only person who was subjected to spanks for birthdays. There’s a longstanding tradition in some cultures of getting a slap for each year of age plus, plus “one to grow on; one to live on; one to eat on; one to be happy on; one to get married on” (Johnson, 1963, p. 14).

The reason we do this? To get the body softened up for burial! Just what you want to be preparing for on your birthday!