Author: Jenn Goddu

Jenn Goddu http://www.birthdayarebest.com I am a writer, editor, and writing coach who also blogs about birthdays!

Hug me. It’s My Birthday.

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Photo credit: Kalexanderson via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

 

In another area of my life, I curate news about #kindness and #generosity for @notevery1sucks. Recently I came across this Random Act of Kindness with a birthday link. It’s sweet enough to share:

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Widower 82-year-old Dan Peterson was in the grocery store six months after the death of his wife when a four-year-old girl named Norah approached him. The girl’s mother told CBS that the little one tapped Dan, a stranger, on the shoulder and blithely announced: “Hi, old person. It’s my birthday today.” She then promptly demanded a hug.

Dan happily complied, and Norah then asked her mother to take her picture with her new friend. Dan was moved and says he told her, “This is the first time, for quite a while, that I’ve been this happy.” To this day Norah visits Dan once a week.

This is a lovely example of how easy it is to bring happiness to others with a small connection. What if we all took a page from the book of a four-year-old and made more of an effort to make people feel loved?

Of course, we can’t all demand hugs on our birthday — it’s not socially acceptable and after a certain age is no longer cute — but this is an extension of the idea of doing kindness for others on your own special day.

Birthdays are about making each individual feel special — even if you are taking the opportunity to treat yourself better for that one day. It’s almost as if Norah read my post, Birthday Kindness Pass It On . Those feeling generous on their special day might also get some ideas from Donating a Birthday.

Birthday etiquette in the office

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Miss Manners was recently asked a question about office birthdays, and I have some things to say about the answer.

The prompt read: “Dear Miss Manners: What is your stance on people who bring treats to work on their birthdays? Is it an attention-getting mechanism or a nice gesture?”

Miss Manners answered, “This feels like a riddle. How would they have known that it was your birthday had you not brought in food? And because sometimes your colleagues bring in food when it’s not their birthdays, does that mean people wouldn’t assume it was your birthday since you brought in food?

Miss Manners has lost track of the problem. Is it, perhaps, that you want people to remember your birthday without being prompted? Or that you do not want to appear as if you are prompting them?

She suspects the latter. But as long as your treats are not accompanied by a self-congratulatory parade with a bullhorn, she permits you to continue enjoying your birthday however you wish — and accepting the well wishes of your colleagues at face value.”

My first question regarding this office etiquette issue is why on earth the person has to bring in their own birthday treats. What kind of trolls does he/she work with? No one does anything nice for this person — taking them out to lunch? Offering coffee? Bringing in donuts? Making or buying a cake? Of course, I have discussed previously employee birthday benefits.

I also wonder about the response. What’s wrong with a self-congratulatory parade really? I too would question the bullhorn, but there are few times in our adult lives we actually stand up and say, “Yeah Me!” the birthday is one of these. Why must we quash that spirit?

Of course, I the person who once threw a “department” party — with streamers and candy at my cubicle — to highlight the non-existence of a department once it was downloaded to just me. So, clearly I am not someone to shy away from making a public spectacle of myself.

Still, that’s what I love about birthdays — the Yeah Me component — and why I love helping others to feel that joy. Happy Birthday one and all!

Founding Fathers didn’t want birthday pomp

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Many Americans eagerly anticipate and happily welcome the President’s Day holiday. Commemorated since 1971 on the third Monday of February, this federal holiday recognizes George Washington, the first president of the United States.

Ironically, it cannot possibly land on his actual birthday since he was actually born on February 22, 1732. There’s no way the third Monday in February can ever be the 22nd (thanks publicholidays.us for pointing that out).

Pomp Harrumph

But even more entertaining to me is the fact that the Founding Fathers were against pomp and circumstance that fostered a cult of personality. After all, the lavish celebrations of the monarchs in Europe were one of the things they were railing about in their revolution.

“Formalities and ceremonies are an abomination in my sight. I hate them in Religion, Government, Science and Life,” John Adams wrote to Jefferson (as cited in Lewis, 1976, p. 94..an out of print book on birthdays that I love).

Jefferson in turn wrote to James Madison of his concern over the pending excitement over Washington’s birthday:

A great ball is to be given here (Philadelphia) on the 22nd, and in other great towns of the Union. This is, at least, very indelicate, and probably excites uneasy sensations in some. I see in it, however, this useful deduction, that the birthdays which have been kept, have been, not those of the President, but of the General. (as cited in Lewis, 1976, p. 94)

Presidential Tradition Today

Still, it is not the General’s last words but rather the president’s farewell address that is read in the United States Senate every year in observance of his birthday — a tradition first started in 1862.

Nevertheless, those founding fathers worrying themselves about a presidential cult of personality fostered by birthdays needn’t have worried in the long run. After all, Presidents Day today is cause for a day off to shop great deals on mattresses, discounted cars and furniture sets.

Presidents Day sales are common across the United States and many Americans associate the holiday with vehicle sales because of the prevalence of discounted prices at car dealerships available during the Presidents Day weekend. More birthday marketing!

 

Where did “birthday suit” come from?

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The phrase “Birthday Suit” today tends to see us heading into X-rated thinking. Try “birthday suit song” on Google and the responses are marked “explicit.” E.g. the Canadian singer The Weeknd wanting to see “his baby” in her “birthday suit” on her “special day.”

But did you know that the phrase actually dates back to the days when a monarch would throw a lavish celebration of a birthday? The birthday suit was the livery (uniform) that the castle servants were given to wear at the big event.

There’s some disagreement about how we got from elaborately clothed valets or scullery maids (actually they probably didn’t get one since they were in the scullery) to nakedness today. One suggestion I read said it was related to the servant’s state of undress if the uniform did not arrive. This explanation didn’t resonate as much, though, as the proposal that the contemporary meaning can be traced to the gradual disarray the servants’ suit would be in after repeated wearing. After all, the suit was often their only wage.

This word origin insight got me thinking also about the many ways we today get spiffed up for our own special days. Searching “birthday” on Twitter returns many people posing in front of mirrors in their planned outfits. What I have yet to figure out is why the people who publicly share their proposed dresses are often wearing so little fabric! I like to think it’s because on their birthdays all body consciousness is forgotten; they are ready to be bold and say, “look, look at me. I am the birthday Queen.”

I have worn a tiara on a birthday as an adult, but it’s a little sad we don’t get to wear “It’s My Birthday Biatch” T-shirts now that we’re all grown up. OMG, I so love this idea I need to get these printed and up on etsy!

Why is it only little ones get to wear the self-congratulatory items like these (and the one above)?

Well, OK, now that I think about it, I’m not sure I’m willing to wear a shirt with “44” written in balloons on it.

Although I was pleased to wear my new birthday socks a friend gave me this year!

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8 Birthday Essentials for Every 80’s Kid

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If you were a kid celebrating your birthday in the 1980s, there were certain things that made the party truly rad. As a flashback, I offer these suggestions from my own memories of birthday parties back in the day.

#1

Going to Chuck E. Cheese. I never got to go otherwise, so I was super excited when someone had a party there. Thanks Todd A. for inviting me as the only girl to your Chuck E. Cheese party!

#2

Renting a movie from the movie store. I remember a girl’s sleepover when we watched DC Cab with Mr. T. Why did I think that was a good idea? And, watching the trailer now, I wonder why I was allowed a rated R movie?

#3

Neon glasses, wristbands, hairbands…just about anything for neon for a parting gift.

Still available from Oriental Trading by the way.

Still available from Oriental Trading by the way.

#4

Dancing to Madonna, Duran Duran and Culture Club — all at the same party!

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#5

Playing Donkey Kong or Ms. PacMan on your friend’s new Nintendo all night at a sleepover.

#6 

Giving or receiving the new U2 album.

#7

Playing that new game out where you had to remember all kinds of trivial details about sports and history and arts & entertainment and stuff like that?

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Photo credit: Leo Reynolds via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

#8 

Dressing up as a member of the G-Force for a costume party. My mother made my costume. This was back in the days before VCRs remember. So she had to run to the TV at the same time every day to see the girl in the opening credits. After all, she didn’t get much screen time in the show. Of course, by the way, her name is Princess.

What else would have made a typically 80s experience at a birthday party back in that decade? Please share in the comments. I’m all for nostalgia.

This post is inspired by a fun (if excessively titled) blog on Buzzfeed recently: 12 Thoughts Every 90s Kid Had on Their Birthday Because Our Childhood Celebrations Were Epic.

 

 

Birthday Courtesy…heck, any day courtesy.

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Basic Birthday Courtesy

This is me blogging angry. ANGRY. I just read an article about a 9-year-old who started this year in public school and was excited to celebrate his first birthday party with classmates. After being homeschooled for years, he and his mother planned a Diary of A Wimpy Kid party to enjoy his big day. Invitations were sent. Party favors purchased. Cake bought or made. Games set up. NO ONE CAME.

The child’s Charlie Brown party is sad. What makes me so angry? NO ONE RSVPed. Simply responding to the invitation with a “can’t make it” text or call would have avoided this upset.

In a post related to this birthday disaster, the mother pointed out that although she hadn’t heard from anyone, she assumed some kids would still attend. After all, several of the children that attended her daughter’s birthday hadn’t responded in advance. But this time, not a soul came to the party, and the parents were totally unprepared.

AWFUL. Let’s consider again just how easy it is to send a text. I probably could have sent six in the time it took you to read that last sentence alone.

It’s So Easy to RSVP

Personally, I don’t understand how any parent who has hosted a birthday party can’t respond. You know the cost that goes into hosting a birthday party. You know the child’s emotional investment. You know how much easier it is to plan when you have some idea of numbers of people to expect.

This is about courtesy and a basic level of respect for the people around us who are inviting us to share in an important moment in their lives. Argh. It makes me so angry to think of that poor boy’s disappointment. And how easily it could have been avoided if we weren’t becoming this society of people who are letting basic etiquette slide in favor of swiping to the right and adding a thumbs up or thumbs down to a social post.

RSVP! Whatever the occasion — birthday, wedding, retirement party…even pet playdate! Say yes. Say no. But say something. It’s a small thing you can do to make someone’s big day that much better.

Celebrating a birthday over and over legitimately

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A clerical error for the win: This woman has three birthdays.

Bristol woman Sandra Blackwell made the press this past week for celebrating her birthday on the wrong date for the decades. She thought it was Nov. 10. Then her birth certificate arrived and it said Nov. 11. Just when she was getting used to that confusion, she unearthed a letter from her primary school listing her birthday as Nov. 12.

“I have only just got used to having two birthdays so I was stunned to find out I actually have three,” Blackwell told the Bristol Post.

It’s the birthday that just keeps on giving!

Admittedly, she does not look as enthusiastic about these three birthdays I would be.

Admittedly, she does not look as enthusiastic about these three birthdays as I would be.

“I think it is something that runs in the family,” Blackwell said. “My mum celebrated her birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. My nan had a lot of kids and just got confused with the date. It turned out that her real birthday was almost a week later.”

Of course, since she’s a Brit, the press there is comparing her to the Queen. She quite famously has two official birthdays. Now Sandra Blackwell has her beat. I think that demands a birthday crown at her next party!

Of course, the three birthdays are all in a row, which makes it somewhat less exciting. I already pretty much give myself a birthday week, so I don’t know that this would make a big dent in my birthday fun.

However, if I had three legitimate birthdays, think of all the great things I could do:

  • I could make one a party birthday where I celebrate with friends and family.
  • I could finally share one (since I have extra).
  • I could make another one all about me (wait, all three are about that…uhm…).

Well, I am confident I could have a raucous time with three birthdays annually. I would want them separated out more — say every four months. A welcome alternative to half birthdays as they come that much sooner!

Birthday Baking or “No Bake” Goodness

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It’s time for another #yummybday roundup. I know the real reason I have twitter followers is because people want to see the treats I share each day. Fine. Here’s the latest greatest hits for you. It can help you with upcoming birthdays and all those holiday potlucks coming up too. You’re welcome.

For the Chocolate Lover

And because I can’t believe I missed last week’s National Chocolate Day:

These tantalizingly named Cookie Dough Billionaire Bars make the cut with their shortbread, salted caramel sauce, cookie dough and chocolate ganache layers.

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Or a double dose of goodness with @mindoverbatter’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars:

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@BeyondFrosting gives us this No-Bake Snickers Icebox Cake, which I love for the “no bake” part:

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For the gluten-free, some fudgy, gooey brownies from @Texanerin:

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Fruit Lovers Unite!

Combine fruit and funnel cakes with @grandbabycake’s Strawberry Shortcake Funnel Cakes:

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Lindsay of @Life_Love_Sugar provides us this Banana Pudding Ice Cream Cake:

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Lemon’s a fruit too…Thanks @WillCook4Smiles for this Lemon Oreo Cheesecake:

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Hand-held Yumminess

OK, this one tackles two favorites: eating with our hands and S’mores. Check out @shugarysweets’ Ooey Gooey Hand Pies:

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Also with marshmallows…I’m weak in the face of fluffy whiteness. Thanks @spoonforkbacon for these Salted Gingersnap Mallomars:Screen Shot 2016-10-28 at 4.11.45 PM.png

Plus one more from @shugarysweets who often makes my #yummybday tweets — Birthday Cake Fudge.

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Finally, another of my favorite ingredients from a familiar fellow blogger @cookierookiebec. How about Loaded Salted Caramel Soft Batch Cookies?

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Can you believe I held off an entire year before sharing all that yumminess in one blog? I need to do this again more often. I also welcome suggestions. Or, if anyone wants me to do some taste testing of sweets recipes, let me know at @BirthdaysBest…I’m willing.

Birthdays are for Sharing, I suppose

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Photo credit: Melinda Taber via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

The other day at work I had the opportunity to watch this video of Bronx Zoo gorillas enjoying cupcakes. It is not entirely clear whether it was a birthday. What amused me, though, was seeing the gorillas grabbing handfuls of cupcakes and refusing to share.

This got me thinking about sharing and birthdays. I’ve written in the past about how much I think it would suck to share my birthday with another person I loved. Or even liked. I might not like/love them so much after that. This pretty much sums it up (stupid typo aside):

At the same time, I know I’m not the only one who likes to see what celebrity shares my birthday. Somehow, by being born on the same day as Elizabeth Shue I am that much cooler on my birthday.

Yet, another way of looking at birthdays is what they teach people (who are bigger than me) about sharing. Kids, for instance, have to go to stores and find toys to give to someone else. They then have to actually hand said toys over to another child. (Parting is such un-sweet sorrow).

I thought I would share some other ways to teach about sharing, gleaned from Parents and WebMD:

  • Set a time limit on the sharing to make it more manageable (in a birthday context you may hold the balloon for 60 seconds and then your sister gets it).
  • Share with those in need. Have the child collect items from their closet, cupboard, toy bin to donate to charity.
  • Role play. OK, I was a theatre major. I could probably do this one.
  • Acknowledge positive behaviors. When your child does share notice it and commend him or her on a job well done. Too often we point out the negatives and don’t recognize the good the child does.
  • Set expectations in advance so as to prepare the child to share.
  • Lead by example. Parents. Yeah, yeah, like we don’t hear that one all of the time. Harrumph.

Yes, presumably I learned how to share better while writing that list. But let’s just stay away from my birthday date so we don’t have to find out.

Employee Birthday Benefits

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As organizational development folks study employee engagement at great length, I suggest a simple tool to enhance morale — birthday benefits.

Just this month, my office job employer has treated two of our team to birthday cakes. We were even asked in advance what kind of cake we’d like best — so there was even an element of choice! Plus, even the person who wasn’t having a birthday could look forward to the break of enjoying a slice of cake together. It’s a win for everyone at work.birthday benefits

As I sat enjoying my second “small” slice of chocolate cake at the office in under two weeks (we’re not talking about all of the slices I ate at home for my own birthday), I wondered what other examples of birthday employee benefits I might find.

Birthday Holiday

Entrepreneur suggests the following in its 10 Benefits Employees Welcome and Every Company Can Afford:

“1. Birthdays off.
Everybody has one, so consider giving employees a paid day off to celebrate their birthday or perhaps a floating holiday instead.”

Of course this is #1. Why doesn’t want their birthday off? Or at least a day off of their own choosing?

On one HR site supporting the “paid birthday holiday” an employee relations-themed blog noted that the majority of departments celebrate with cake and singing, but the birthday holiday “sends a great message.” This shows the organization doesn’t view the birthday in terms of workers “getting older, benefit costs going up and efficiency going down.” The author even suggests the holiday might be given only to employees after three years of service to cut costs.

Piping up on this same Birthday Holiday idea, a separate HR voice added another perspective: “Some people may not work well on their birthday as this is when they would like to have a big party and celebrate throughout the whole day. By giving them that day off, they get to have that day of rest and relaxation that may prove quite beneficial.”

Birthday at Work Pitfalls

Really, where is the downfall to offering this one extra way to celebrate the employee?

Apparently there remain concerns. The Society for Human Resource Management featured consideration of whether or not to recognize employee benefits in a 2015 blog. The article began:

“Recognizing employee birthdays can be a low-cost yet personal and special way to recognize employees. It can also be a means to upset employees or lead to allegations of unlawful discrimination if not handled correctly.”

WHAT?

Apparently this “seemingly harmless act of celebration” could:

  • be seen as a violation of privacy, a misuse of HR files
  • pressure employees to pitch in for cakes and gifts they can’t afford
  • be at odds with employee religious or birthday beliefs

I didn’t know about the last one. Now I’m going to have to track down the religions prohibiting “the celebration of holidays and other events, including birthdays.” Another blog…Oh, it’s Jehovah’s Witnesses. The SHRM tells us in another blog they believe it is a sin. I guess I might know that if I ever answered the door when they called.

Great Birthday Benefit Ideas

One thing this article made me sure about is my complete disinterest in being in HR. I can embrace the advice to always ask first and respect the birthday celebrants wishes for privacy or not. Still, I’m much more behind the great ideas a SHRM LinkedIn post on the topic generated:

● Electronic birthday cards, especially at large organizations.
● Surprise decorations at the employee’s desk.
● Lunch with a manager.
● Gift cards to popular stores or restaurants.
● Cash gifts based on years of service.
● A company contribution to a charity of the celebrant’s choice.
Monthly celebrations, perhaps with a cake, that acknowledge all workers born in that month.

Except perhaps that last one. By now my loyal readers can be sure I don’t want to have to share my birthday with others — not even work colleagues…sorry (not sorry).